NORTH CAROLINA
​2021  FALL SYMPOSIUM
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HOW TO COPE WITH THE EMPTINESS

Family Access-Fighting for Children's Rights and Steel Partners Foundation will together be hosting this two-day event for parents of adult alienated children and/or alienated grandparents.

The focus for this symposium will be on how to cope with the emptiness. This is certainly a subject much needed for those who are sadly alienated from their children and grandchildren. Our experts who will be attending will all be giving much support and knowledge during this event.

On Friday night, October 15, 2021, we will have a Meet and Greet from 6-9 PM. Rev. Dr. John Killinger will be our guest speaker. Dr. Killinger's late wife Annie was the pioneer to bringing grandparent alienation to the forefront. Dr. Killinger himself is alienated from one of his adult sons and his grandchildren. It will also be a time to meet our experts as well as others who are also in this "hell on earth called alienation". Many other professionals will be there as well.

On Saturday, October 16, 2021 from 8-5, our experts will be presenting on how to cope with the emptiness. There also will be a time of Q & A at the end of the symposium.

On Saturday evening from 6:30-9, we will have a closing dinner and spending time sharing our stories together. We also will be giving out door prizes. 

There will be a limit of 150 participants so this will be on a first come, first served basis. Many of you have asked for something like this for some time. Getting together with others who share this "hell on earth call alienation" will be a huge help for all of us. There will be many special things taking place while we are spending this time together. I do hope you can join us.

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Marriott at Research Triangle Park 
4700 Guardian Drive
Durham, N. C. 27703-8460
(919) 941-6200

PLEASE USE THE LINK BELOW TO REGISTER FOR THE HOTEL

Book your group rate for How to Cope with the Emptiness Seminar

 $99.00 Hotel room rates are quoted per room per night and are subject to applicable state and local taxes at time of check in. Taxes are currently 13.5%, but are subject to change. You may book 3 days prior to our event and stay 3 days after our event for this special group rate. (You may book as many as 4 people with 2 double beds for this price) There are of course king size beds available as well.

 The Hotel is pleased to offer the following special concessions:

•   Complimentary Airport Shuttle
•   Complimentary Parking
•   Complimentary WIFI in sleeping rooms & banquet space 

*** This special discount rate expires Thursday, September 30, 2021. These rooms are available on a first come, first served basis. Please reserve your room in a timely manner.

DEADLINE TO REGISTER FOR THE SYMPOSIUM IS THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2021!!

How to Cope With the Emptiness-Sponsor

$200.00

All those sponsoring our event will have their logo displayed on our web page for this event. You will also have a 3-4 minute video of your business. In your video, you must also mention alienation. The sponsors are also subject for approval. Deadline to register for sponsors and have your video in by Saturday, September 25, 2021.

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How to Cope With the Emptiness-Meet and Greet

$50.00

This will be a special evening from 6 PM-9 PM of food, fellowship, and some other surprises. Our experts who will be speaking on Saturday will join us as well. This cost is separate from the symposium registration as some will not be able to make this special event. Deadline to register for this is Thursday, September 30, 2021.

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How to Cope with the Emptiness Symposium

$125.00

This pricing includes the cost of the symposium, 2 breakfasts, and dinner on Saturday evening. We are limited to 150 participants so this will be on a first come, first served basis. Deadline to register is Thursday, September 30, 2021.

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How to Cope With the Emptiness-Vendor Tables

$100.00

We will only have a select number of vendor tables at this event. You may set up your table after 2 PM on the Friday of the event. You will need to man your booth prior to the meet and greet and before and after the symposium. Your business will also be listed on our web page for this event as well. All vendors will be subject of approval. Registration for vendors ends on Saturday, September 25th.

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SPEAKERS

DIRECTOR
​PANELIST
​STEVEN MILLER, M. D.

"How Alienated Parents and Grandparents Can Use Recent Developments in Cognitive Science to Reduce Stress and Distress"

Few things in life are more difficult or painful than the loss of normal contact with a child or grandchild due to parent or grandparent alienation. It is therefore not surprising that alienated parents and grandparents typically experience anxiety, depression, and other types of severe emotional distress. Likewise, to echo the main theme of this conference, they typically experience feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and emptiness. The ideal solution, of course, is to reverse the alienation and undo the damage to each relationship.

Unfortunately, in some cases that is not possible, and in other cases that requires months or years. Meanwhile, most alienated parents and grandparents need all the help they can get.

Fortunately, recent advances in cognitive science – for example, new techniques for changing not only the functioning of the brain but the underlying structure as well (e.g., to physically “re-wire“ the “circuits” involved with happiness, resilience, and other characteristics) – can bring about real changes in our ability to deal with stress, cope with adversity, and achieve peace of mind.

This presentation will present some of the most promising and pragmatic techniques for weathering the storm of parental and grandparental alienation. It will focus on relatively simple “mind over matter“ methods that are rooted in research and can be applied either with or without the assistance of a clinician and/or mental health professional. For illustration, in general the acronym CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapy but, in fact, the “T“ can also stand for “Techniques“ because many people can employ similar techniques as part of a “self help” program, with or without the assistance of a psychotherapist.

Dr. Miller has degrees in both Psychology and Medicine from Brown University and did residency training at Brown University and Harvard Medical School. For more than 30 years he was on the teaching faculty at Harvard Medical School. He is board certified in both Internal Medicine and Emergency Medicine; in addition, he has many years of experience practicing Behavioral Medicine -- a specialty that focuses on the interface between medicine and psychology. That background is particularly relevant to child maltreatment, child protection, child alignment, parental alienation, pathological enmeshment, and related issues since those clinical conditions are very much related to behavior, including dysfunctional, pathological, and abusive behavior. Likewise, he has several decades of experience practicing Forensic Medicine. A popular speaker, he has directed several hundred continuing education courses for physicians and other clinicians and presented over one thousand lectures on clinical reasoning, clinical problem-solving, and clinical decision-making. An internationally-known expert on alienation and estrangement – and how to distinguish one from the other – he is also an experienced expert witness, litigation consultant, and trial strategist.

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REV. DR. JOHN KILLINGER

“Life is More than Getting to Enjoy Your Grandkids—a Whole Lot More!"


Most of us, being normal human beings, tend to focus a lot on the things that are presently bothering us or are grievously missing from our lives.  We unconsciously magnify the importance of those particular things, victimizing ourselves with more pain and anxiety than is absolutely necessary.  Among almost all the alienated grandparents I have met—and I have met many--the fact that they can’t see or enjoy regular visits with their grandchildren has assumed an exaggeratedly large role in their thinking.  I have found, in my own experience of living with alienation, that it is very helpful and often necessary to consciously minimize my concentration on my grandkids, to psychologically shrink the time I give to thinking about them, and to spend more time and concentration on the other aspects of my daily living.  This doesn’t mean I love those precious grandchildren—there are four of them, now aged 11 to 17—any less.  It simply means that I am not allowing my grief at being unable to see and be with them to color or distort the rest of my existence. Life is simply too great and too beautiful to allow this alienation factor to diminish the wonder and glory of it!  

Dr. John Killinger, noted author, minister, and professor, has pastored eight churches, including the First Congregational Church of Los Angeles and Marble Collegiate Church in New York City, and has taught at such major universities as Vanderbilt, Princeton, and Chicago. His wife Anne was the author of A Son Is a Son Till He Gets a Wife: How Toxic Daughters-in-Law Destroy Families, the book that spawned the alienated parents and grandparent movement in America. He himself has written more than 70 books, including three volumes of From Poppy with Love: Letters from a Grandfather to the Grandchildren He Isn’t Allowed to See. He has appeared on numerous radio and TV programs across the U.S., and served for many years as a special seminar leader for chaplains in all branches of the American Armed Forces.

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MODERATOR
​COLLEEN MURRAY, PH.D., LPC

Colleen M. Murray, Ph.D., is a Licensed Practicing Counselor in Saint Robert, MO.  Dr. Murray has an interest in better defining intimate partner violence to include parental alienation. She has spent many years working in the area of intimate partner violence and studying the effects and interventions for children subjected to intimate partner violence.  Dr. Murray is in private practice with a focus on high conflict divorce and parental alienation.  Dr. Murray assists families with co-parenting, reunification of alienated parent, and parent management techniques.  Dr. Murray regularly testifies as an expert witness in high conflict divorce case.  Dr. Murray speaks at continuing education conferences for family law attorneys and judges concerning how parental alienation effects children.   Dr. Murray is also an adjunct professor at Drury University.

Colleen M. Murray is the owner of Victor’s Crown Christian Counseling Center, where she specializes in working with families struggling with high conflict divorce and parental alienation.  Colleen is also an adjunct faculty member of Drury University.  Colleen attended Campbell University and received her bachelor’s in Psychology.  After graduation Colleen went on to serve in the United States Army where she received the Medal of Merit for her work in Homeland Security.  After leaving the Army, Colleen went on to received her Master’s and Ph.D. in Mental Health Counseling from Capella University graduating summa cum laude and cum laude. Colleen conducted research in childhood trauma due to domestic violence.  Colleen has three children; Ashley, Stuart and Joseph and lives in Saint Robert Missouri with her husband Daniel.

​PANELIST
AMY J. L. BAKER, PH. D

"Strategies for Re-engaging with Adult Alienated Children"

Having an adult alienated child or grandchild is one of the most painful experiences a parent or grandparent can face. Targeted parents experience helplessness and, hopelessness, loss and grief, corrosive emptiness, and worse. Their beloved child or grandchild is out there, living his or her life, but unavailable and unreachable. This, of course, is excruciatingly painful to the parent or grandparent who yearns – and probably aches – for a meaningful relationship. Furthermore, in addition to learning how to manage their feelings, many targeted parents want to have a concrete plan – practical things they can do to improve their situation. This talk will present a novel approach to connecting with an adult alienated child – and, importantly, to thinking about how to approach an adult alienated child, not only pragmatically but strategically – through a sophisticated letter writing process with ten specific elements designed to repair the attachment between the parent and the (adult) child. What’s more, the process of working on the letter can, in itself, be helpful, or even transformative, for the parent and can bring about a renewed sense of peace and understanding – even when the letter itself does not produce a prompt positive response in the child. Since this approach is modular – that is, it entails a number of different modules or elements – a parent or grandparent can elect to employ some or all of them.

Dr. Amy J.L. Baker has a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Teachers College of Columbia University. She is a nationally and internationally recognized expert in parental alienation and psychological maltreatment of children. She is the author or co-author of 8 books and over 115 articles. Some of her books are Adult children of parental alienation, surviving parental alienation, co-parenting with a toxic ex, and the high conflict custody battle. She has conducted trainings for legal and mental health professionals around the country.

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CAROL GOLLY, PH. D, LCSW, RPT-S  

"Coping with Cut Off from Grandchildren: Emotional Survival Strategies"
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​Grandparents facing the unnatural stress of being cut off from grandchildren may suffer emotional and physical consequences.  Such consequences may include anxiety, depression, anger, complex grief and trauma, and resultant physical health issues.  Managing such emotional turmoil and stress can be a profound challenge for affected grandparents. Dr. Golly will share information from grandparents and professionals regarding coping strategies and the building of emotional resiliency in order to build inner strength, self-compassion and confidence. ​

Carol Golly has a special interest in parent and grandparent alienation.  She is a founding board member of Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, Inc. (AGA) and completed her doctoral work on grandparent alienation in 2019.  She has 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents, and families in Naples, Florida.  Carol serves as a court-appointed therapist for children and families and as an expert witness in cases of child abuse, trauma, neglect, and parental alienation.

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SUE CORNBLUTH, PSY. D

"How Self-Compassion and Related Techniques Can Help Alienated Parents and Grandparents"


Dealing with parent and/or grandparent alienation can be painful. At times, it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. That, in turn, can bring on anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, panic, and other negative emotions including feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and emptiness.  One way to deal with this is to cultivate self-compassion. If you can learn to sooth yourself — especially through the use of specific techniques — then you are more likely to reduce or reverse such painful emotions.


This presentation will focus primarily on two things: (1) techniques that can reduce both internal and external conflicts; and (2) how self-compassion can help to reduce emotional distress. The presentation will include methods to foster self-forgiveness such as identifying, acknowledging, and accepting in order to lift spirits and enhance well-being. Related techniques will include journal writing, heart-holding, and positive self-talk.  By the end of the presentation, participants will be able to identify specific steps they can take to reconnect with themselves and — most importantly — with their children and/or grandchildren.

Dr. Sue Cornbluth is a certified parenting expert, coach and thought leader with international recognition, specializing in high conflict divorce and parental/grandparent alienation situations. She established Dr. Sue & You LLC, a consulting and coaching firm working with parents to help them successfully move through their high conflict divorce situations and reunite with their children. She has reunited hundreds of families with her tools and techniques. Her passion and goal is to heal family conflict with compassion. She accomplishes this through her work educating and guiding parents and professionals.  Dr. Sue currently hosts a weekly radio and TV show that teaches individuals that you can become the solution to any conflict in your life. 

SPONSORS